The ramblings of a madman: Horse meat

OK, so the horse meat scandal is officially the most important thing us Brits here are concerned with. Frankly, I personally think there are more important things going on in the world to discuss but I will say this:  The whole incident has done wonders for boosting cattle morale.  For far too long has the cow stood in the shadow of the majestic horse.

Yes, too long has our bovine chums been dismissed as dopey, mooing moronic creatures only fit for producing milk. Meanwhile, the horse has been projected as a noble, regal, intelligent beast fit for royalty. For countless generations the pony has been represented as the ultimate birthday gift for any girl on their birthday. After all, not many princesses have asked dear old daddy for a cow on their sweet sixteenth have they? No. Well those times have now changed.

Turns out horse is cheap. After all, this crooked conspiracy to lace beef burgers and pies with horse meat can only have been concocted by a extensive international ring of corrupt farmers out of financial necessity or greed.  That's the only reason to commit such mass deception right? Right. If horse has been used all these years as a secret replacement to beef, they must be cheaper. Either that or there is a surplus of horses in the world that has to be culled by any means necessary. This of course is highly unlikely, since I have not heard of rogue horses violently running wild through shopping centres and high streets threatening to disrupt cities around the world. Not like your average cocky rabies infested fox, but that's another animal, for another argument. Yes, 2013 may officially be the Chinese year of the snake, but in reality it will be forever remembered as year of the cow. Yes, from now on the cow can hold its head up high, safe in the knowledge it will go down in history as the defeater of smallpox, the original lawnmower and now, the luxuriant alternative to horse.

Joshua, TCC