The internal conflicts of an ignoramus
I wake up everyday and I dislike so many things, and so many people. I would rather frown than smile. I find it hard to say something positive - so I just say negative things instead. I suppose I could help it, but I have become so accustomed to this way of thinking it has almost become second nature.
Why should I give props or praise to other people when I could so easily do the opposite, preferably behind their backs. Why not, why not...some of these people I dislike are for reasons that I suppose do not have much foundation. But I don't care. I quite like this facade. I like being sad and take pleasure in watching what they do. How they look, what they wear or who they go out with.
I must always make a comment about it, pass judgement. Why not, why not. Being two faced works really well for me. I can pretend to be one way and then when the opportunity arises I show a completely different face. It suits me. I have begun to get extremely good at this shady way of behaving.
One day, perhaps, I could change my ways. Or perhaps I will not. Perhaps, I will grow up and see things differently. Perhaps I will get a more fulfilling life... Will the day arise when I will feel ashamed of my futile actions and make amends?
Of course I am not jealous of these people or person. How could I be, I am great, I am tough, I am sly. I am not ignorant, am I... No, I am not ignorant. But my actions denote foolishness. My comments suggest ignorance. Why, why, why...why can I not stop snooping and start living. But I like to spy, I like it. I enjoy keeping tabs - then casting aspersions. Why must I be such an ignoramus - when I could just do my own thing rather than insult and regularly intoxicate myself with cynical notions.
One day, one day. I may see sense. But until then I shall continue with this hollow existence that I have become consumed within.
I am officially one of those people that popular culture has now described as a 'Hater' I don't like the word if I am to be honest with myself - but if I continue acting like an imbecile then I suppose I will have to accept it.
Demola, TCC
Why should I give props or praise to other people when I could so easily do the opposite, preferably behind their backs. Why not, why not...some of these people I dislike are for reasons that I suppose do not have much foundation. But I don't care. I quite like this facade. I like being sad and take pleasure in watching what they do. How they look, what they wear or who they go out with.
I must always make a comment about it, pass judgement. Why not, why not. Being two faced works really well for me. I can pretend to be one way and then when the opportunity arises I show a completely different face. It suits me. I have begun to get extremely good at this shady way of behaving.
One day, perhaps, I could change my ways. Or perhaps I will not. Perhaps, I will grow up and see things differently. Perhaps I will get a more fulfilling life... Will the day arise when I will feel ashamed of my futile actions and make amends?
Of course I am not jealous of these people or person. How could I be, I am great, I am tough, I am sly. I am not ignorant, am I... No, I am not ignorant. But my actions denote foolishness. My comments suggest ignorance. Why, why, why...why can I not stop snooping and start living. But I like to spy, I like it. I enjoy keeping tabs - then casting aspersions. Why must I be such an ignoramus - when I could just do my own thing rather than insult and regularly intoxicate myself with cynical notions.
One day, one day. I may see sense. But until then I shall continue with this hollow existence that I have become consumed within.
I am officially one of those people that popular culture has now described as a 'Hater' I don't like the word if I am to be honest with myself - but if I continue acting like an imbecile then I suppose I will have to accept it.
Demola, TCC
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