The life of Bill

William is an older man. He is in his eighties. Although his Christian name is William, people call him Bill. Bill is 5'6, has a wild shock of grey hair and varicose veins are evenly distributed on his face. Bill weighs 12 stone give or take a few pounds and walks with a slight gait. Bill lives in a nursing home. His children dumped him there because they couldn't be bothered to take care of him anymore. They don't visit him very often.

Bill doesn't particularly like his nursing home. Bill complains that some of his fellow residents smell funky. He doesn't believe that he should really be there. He may be in his eighties, but feels much younger in spirit. Especially when he has a nice shave. Bill has a mobile phone in which he uses to text his grandchildren. He likes to send them smiley faces with a 'lol' and some kisses.

Bill has a penchant for the lady nurses who tend to him daily. Bill likes to share an anecdote to whomever will listen. He is a tactile old chap and a somewhat flirt with a cheeky glint in his eye. Having said this he is harmless.

Bill loves to eat pie and mash. This is his most favourite meal. He is partial to an alcoholic beverage every now and then. Sometimes Bill says things that are not deemed as politically correct. This has caused a few arguments with his good friend in the nursing home, Malcolm. The two men like to share a bottle of rum over the festive period.

Every Saturday, Bill sneaks out of his nursing home and boards a bus wearing a hooded top and tinted spectacles. He rides on the bus for twenty two minutes to a local authority owned football pitch. This is where Bill is employed as an amateur football league referee. He makes £30 pounds for 90 minutes of dodgy officiating. Bill thoroughly enjoys ambling and puffing about in pursuit of the young virile men who chase up and down on a less than perfect field.

Without fail, Bill always gets more decisions wrong than he gets right. The unsavoury language he regularly receives from the frustrated young men falls on deaf ears, Bill is deaf in one ear, and the other is usually clogged with heavy wax. At the end of the afternoon, Bill collects his Saturday wage, he pops into a local bookmakers before  returning to his nursing home with the nurses and residents none the wiser to his afternoon of fun and shenanigans.

Demola, TCC