The gymnasium

If you didn't already know - then I will tell you. The gymnasium is a grand bastion in which many people go to exercise, keep fit and for some, to mooch, watch TV and pretend to exercise. It really is a popular haven for those who strive to improve their bodies and overall wellbeing. And those who attempt to pick up chicks and use the vending machines.

As we step into this less than swanky gym making our way into the main room in which most here populate please be warned - the smell of funky body odour, fermented odour will attack your nose. Rendering it to twitch due to the unpleasurable fumes. Please refrain from recoiling or gagging. Your eyes may even begin to water, but do not panic. It's only stagnated sweat.

Anyway, these symptoms will soon abate as your senses become accustomed to the colourful smells wafting about.

I'm sure you've noticed that there are many weights in the room as you can see the majority of men present have gravitated to this area. Grunting and puffing away like oafs as they attempt to work their muskles. Some clearly know what they are doing and some do not. Like that fool over there, for example. Yes, that Kurdish man with the mullet.

For today, my friends, we will observe the the more vain of the general users in this humble gymnasium. Who shall we examine... Let us have a little look around,  ah - ah! Him, look people, that one. The peculiar looking dude who is topless wearing the weight lifting belt around his wide waist. I really don't appreciate the rule breakers in this place. 

The rules poster  on the wall to your right clearly states: "No loud grunting, pick up used weights, etcetera, etcetera and a little further down it categorically says - "correct gym attire to be worn at all times," which to a discerning mind means -  no bare chests! And if you're going to workout topless (although very lame) at least do so because you own a good physique. 

This bloke who seems to enjoy rule breaking and always seems to do so in front of the big mirrors as he admires his bizarre reflection whilst lifting weights in a deliberate slow motion fashion.

If you look a little closer you will see a tattoo scribbled across his torso that reads, 'only God can judge me.' Is that really what this man believes?! Well I can't help but judge him everytime I see that unsightly naked top half parading about. Oh, and why workout topless but still have time to wear a woolly hat. Somebody get me a brown paper bag, please.

So, friends, today's foray into the interesting world of the gymnasium has reached its conclusion. I have to do my own workout now. 

We will reconvene at a later date. 

Demola, TCC