The height of nonsensical

As an avid listener of the radio It is something that I really enjoy, especially talk radio shows. As a result of this preference I am often predisposed to interesting discussions and debates. Just the other day I walked into my kitchen, the radio was on as per usual and I caught a question in which the broadcaster was asking the viewers and his co-host that if they could ask their dog or any dog one question what would it be?

Obviously, I was pretty bemused by the stupidity of the absurd question but I have to admit it did make me chuckle to myself. Just imagine if dogs could actually speak - and thus fore answer pertinent questions from their owners. How would such exchanges ensue? Or, if   other animals/creatures were able to communicate with humans and allowed us to question them - what would we even ask these creatures that often go about their business without having to indulge in conversations with sane humans. (Although I appreciate that some folk speak to their pets as though they are people).

Due to the nonsensical nature of radio phone in I imagined that if I had to ask a dog a question what would I actually even ask it. The particulars of the environment not being so important - so I don't know where the location would be. I very much doubt it would be in police custody interrogation circumstances. Perhaps it could be a frank little chat on the street.

(No fluffy microphone would be required). "How do you feel about very unattractive female humans being likened to dogs, well, labelled a dog by men who want to really insult them. Do you think this is offensive to your kind?" (What would the dogs voice even sound like? Educated and well spoken? Common and monosyllabic?).

Naturally, this would lead me to wondering about other creatures.

A Pig, for example. "So, how do you feel about constantly being portrayed as lazy, greedy and fat?"

A Slug. "Where do you live? and why do you appear on peoples doorsteps at night?"

A rodent. "Do you actually enjoy scaring people to death?" (I would imagine the rodent to sound like a New York gangster of Italian descent).

Oh the mind boggles on the myriad of questions that could be posed to the animal community.

Demola, TCC