Dear Margaret...
I FEEL TRAPPED IN THIS BODY
Dear Margaret,
Ever since I was a youngster I have felt 'different' to my peers. Whilst other dogs I know are happy to go around sniffing one another's butts and chasing their own tails in a rather idiotic manner or even worse - barking manically for no appearant reason. I have never had the urge or inclination to do such futile things.
I am a much more refined and sophisticated kind of animal - emotionally cold and calculating. I'd much prefer to lick myself clean - to strut about with my head up high, staring at people in mock disgust. Also, I really enjoy being rather vindictive, sly and wicked. To cut to the chase - I believe I am a cat in a dogs body.
I feel trapped and stifled. I long to be free from this terrible constraint and taste liberation to be who I should be. I dearly hope you could perhaps recommend where I could have an animal corrective change operation? If this kind of procedure is indeed possible. Please help a distressed dog. ANON.
Margaret says...
My heart went out to you when I read your letter. I have received tons of mail from 'trapped' and confused individuals like yourself. Just recently I read a letter from an elephant who believed that she was cockroach in the wrong body. She wasn't - she was just hormonal. Corrective surgery is not a cheap and viable option. However, I would suggest that you get your owners to buy you a cat outfit - so that you can dress up and pretend to be a pussy cat. (Best leave this kind of behaviour to the weekends, though). I hope this helps.
Submitted by Demola, The Collective
Dear Margaret,
I am a much more refined and sophisticated kind of animal - emotionally cold and calculating. I'd much prefer to lick myself clean - to strut about with my head up high, staring at people in mock disgust. Also, I really enjoy being rather vindictive, sly and wicked. To cut to the chase - I believe I am a cat in a dogs body.
I feel trapped and stifled. I long to be free from this terrible constraint and taste liberation to be who I should be. I dearly hope you could perhaps recommend where I could have an animal corrective change operation? If this kind of procedure is indeed possible. Please help a distressed dog. ANON.
My heart went out to you when I read your letter. I have received tons of mail from 'trapped' and confused individuals like yourself. Just recently I read a letter from an elephant who believed that she was cockroach in the wrong body. She wasn't - she was just hormonal. Corrective surgery is not a cheap and viable option. However, I would suggest that you get your owners to buy you a cat outfit - so that you can dress up and pretend to be a pussy cat. (Best leave this kind of behaviour to the weekends, though). I hope this helps.
Submitted by Demola, The Collective
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