Annoying TV shows: Catfish

I'll freely admit that for a very long time whenever I  saw this programme on TV I would switch over, I wouldn't even entertain it. It just looked so unappealing to me, not sparking any flicker of  interest  whatsoever. Then one day, for whatever reason, I thought let me give this American show a chance. Looking back, I am lost for words as to why I even bothered.  

 

Depending on your age, I will assume that you have heard of Catfish before. However, for the uninformed the briefest of synopsis... Young people from all over America sit behind a computer screen and strike up 'relationships' with people they have not met. Some start relationships with 'celebrities.' Yes, celebrities, and others with really good looking people. After a while of computer romance the 'normal person' can't take it anymore and has to meet the "love of their lives." Sounds reasonable enough, one would assert. Isn't that common practice? Well, on this show things are not quite what they seem.  The 'celebrity' or very good looking person always has some sort of excuse that a discerning viewer knows is just completely and utterly bogus. Even when I first watched it I was thinking how ridiculous it was that these people appeared to be so gullible. Having said that, though, I still continued to watch with interest.

 

So two guys, the shows producers, come along with a camera crew to meet the normal (I use this term very loosely) person - who proceeds to tell them how they are so in love, how they and the other person have a "special connection," and how the other person gets them like no other being in this entire universe. Blah, blah, blah! The two men are sympathetic and listen as the love struck dope talks and then shows them some of the conversations they have had via a computer screen. Sometimes the men ask if they converse over the telephone, to which the love sick prat says: "I have tried to call him, (for instance) and his phone wasn't working." "Well didn't you find that a little strange, they may ask in return." "Well I did, but Chris Brown, Drake, Channing Tatum," (take your pick) said that their phone has been playing up for months. So I believed him, because he wouldn't lie to me." "Why haven't you met up with him yet?" "Oh, erm, because - he's busy on tour, or making a movie - he says we will meet up soon, though, and we can be together forever. The thing is that I can't wait, I need to see my boo, already. Can you help me?" Cue the two hosts saying: "Yes, of course we will help you."  As they look at one another. (Probably thinking this is another sucker who will aid them in getting another series out of this ludicrous show.) 

OK, so what now? Well the two men start to do some digging. If the Catfish is a 'celebrity' then that's not too hard to investigate as they can be tracked down. However, if the catfish happens to be a good looking male or female from whatever part of America - that may be a little prove to be a little more tricky. Anyhow, they always manage to locate the person. All this whilst they constantly relay any information garnered back to the hopeless romantic. 

So, the time has arrived, elusive individual located and the two men inform the lamenting person of what they have discovered, but also add the note of caution - that this person may not be who they believed they had been talking to. There may be a strong chance you haven't been talking to  Katy Perry or Zac Efron, you know. To which he or she is emotional and says: "Take me to them!!" "I have to meet my love." OK then... Don't say we didn't warn you.  The two men take the person via car or aeroplane to the city, wherever it is in America, anyway they get to the house, or hotel room of the individual and knock at the door.  The love sick fool constantly repeating how nervous they are, as they look scared and jittery. The show is actually becoming quite interesting - as things are literally about to pop off, this is what we have been waiting for. As you can imagine, the background music is now getting somewhat more dramatic.

Obviously, the commercial break has to suddenly interject at this point, and although I know, well the viewer knows that the unbelievably dumb person is going to be completely and utterly disappointed we still must watch this silliness unfold. There's no way I am going to turn over. I just have to see this nonsense to its conclusion.  So I sit there for three minutes, as I wonder what or whom will open the door - as the two men, camera crew and anxious person wait. And guess what; the person who answers the door IS NOT the person who had pretended to be a celebrity or that super good looking person. What an underwhelming shock! Who would have guessed it?! Oh what a crying shame...

One patricularly thrilling episode that I recall to mind was that of an individual who had duped a young African American female into believing that he was Bow Wow, (a young male American rapper). For it to only transpire that that was was a big fat lie.  To make matters worse the lie had many layers; the person was a woman! Yes, a little black munchkin, a lesbian munchkin, But for whatever reason tried to look like a little gangster boy. (Don't ask, no answers here.) Oh, but she did rap, though. (I'm sure she did hip-hop gigs in Atlanta if I remember correctly.)

 
Well the girl was distraught as you would imagine: "You lied to me! How could you?! I told you everything about me!!" To which the lying rat sheepishly responded with: I still mean everything that I told you, too. Well... apart from my sex, true identity, name, my profession. But, apart from that - I was completely honest with you, boo. So...umm, do you think you and I could perhaps still kick it??*


If you have never ever watched Catfish - then well done. And if you have, you will  know exactly how silly the programme is. It's actually ridiculous.

Demola, TCC



*African American parlance.