Art procurer

The marvellous man really did love art. Art in its many guises, he loved it so. He would enjoy nothing more than  to saunter into a gallery and stand before the many paintings that stood majestically aloft before his eyes. They evoked many deep feelings within his body. His appreciative mind would interpret the pictures in its own way.

 

One pleasant evening the man was in his home listening to Charlie Parker whilst sipping a delightful glass of Dom Perignon. Suddenly, almost like lightening he was struck by an epiphany of amazing proportions that culminated in him deciding that he would like to obtain the many pictures that he would gaze at longingly. He had a new compulsion to steal art. He mused over this notion for days before arriving at his conclusion - he would steal because he had grown tired of spending his money

One day, exactly a week after his epiphany. The educated man, on finishing a breakfast that consisted of two slices of wholemeal toast complemented with scrumptious marmalade and having drunk a satisfying cup of Earl Grey tea stood up in his delightful looking kitchen. He was mentally preparing himself for his first official art heist. Today would be the day in which a lovely Andy Warhol picture that he had particularly caught his eye would make its way from the city gallery into his living room. He had made space for it just above the piano that he rarely played these days.

The thorough fellow had planned out exactly what he would do and believed it was completely and utterly fool proof. The  mild   night before was an occasion for preparation and thoughtful contemplation. He made masterful blue prints in the comfort of his grand living room. He had spent just under two hours watching The Thomas Crown Affair. He did so making notes with his fountain pen into a little note pad alongside neatly using a highlighter to highlight the most pertinent reminders. After this, he thought that he ought to get an early night and proceeded to retire to his expansive bedroom.

The next day was fresh and sunny. A fine day to conduct art thievery, he smirked to himself whilst listening to an interesting radio debate as he drove  his silver Mercedes. He drove the impressive machine to the city centre and parked it in a multi storey car park. He got out and paid for a parking permit for two hours. He would need this time to walk around the gallery, pinch the painting then go for a latte. The man moved calmly, he was wearing a very expensive  burgundy tailored suit. He walked for 10 minutes until he was in close proximity to the splendid looking gallery. It's glass exterior dazzled in the sharp sun light. He squinted his eyes for a split second and crossed the busy main road.

He was in the gallery now. First, he went to view his favourite paintings and pictures and stood blissfully revelling in their wonderment. After this, he took the lift to the fifth floor. This is where the Warhol piece lay.

The man stepped out of the lift wearing a tight stocking over his face and wore brand new leather gloves. He was feeling a mixture of extraordinary excitement, plus, a nice sense of nervousness. This was a sensational cocktail to behold as he headed into the quiet room.

The brooding presence of security cameras in the artful area did not deter the gentleman. They were unimportant to a man with a fool proof plan. He motioned towards the vibrant picture and smiled under the tight stocking that was squashing his face somewhat.

Delicately placing his hands on the picture he felt a surge of adrenaline rush through his body. He was as gentle with the Warhol piece as one might be with a new born baby. His heart beat steadily underneath his fitted white cotton shirt.

There was no alarm nor were there any poorly educated security men in sight. He was already aware of this information prior to his deciding to become an art pilferer. He chortled to himself as he  carefully plucked the picture from the wall before placing it underneath his arm and heading back into the adjacent lift. He was beginning to perspire underneath the pink stocking. The lift had been pressed for the ground floor. He waited patiently as it went from the fifth to forth, then forth to the third floor. On the third floor a group of school children filled into the lift with their teacher. The man felt uncomfortable as he stood tight in the corner clutching the size able framed picture close to his torso.

The female teacher looked at him. He looked at her. She looked at what was in possession and then looked at him again.

A bead of sweat broke loose due to the scrutiny he was feeling. It was quickly sailing down his forehead. It was hastily accompanied by a few more. His face felt hot underneath the stocking. She looked at him again with suspicious eyes. Then fixated her attention to the leather gloves that he was wearing. The man rapidly looked to the floor.

The school troupe of four children were also gazing at the man in the burgundy suit holding a big picture sporting a tight stocking over his head and wearing leather gloves. They began whispering to one another. The gentleman felt as though he had been in the lift for hours.

Time moved very slowly as the gentleman couldn't wait to get out of this suffocating box and swiftly make his way home. He no longer wanted that pre-planned latte. The lift finally arrived at the ground floor and the doors slowly opened. The school teacher looked at the man then they both looked out at the entrance. Two  portly security guards alongside two  police officers were stood with hands on their hips.  Stern looks were painted on their faces. They didn't look happy.

The gentleman sheepishly smiled from behind the children and eloquently muffled from underneath his stocking to the party that it really wasn't how it appeared.

The colourful picture was swiftly confiscated and he was promptly arrested.

 

 

Demola, TCC