Spider Guest

OK, so I've just noticed a spider...near the top corner of the wall. Sort of high up. Great big old spider, legs akimbo. Chilling in my living room.

OK, so I've just noticed one of those humans staring at me. What exactly is HIS problem...

I am trying to watch TV, but I can't quite concentrate now, not with that horrible thing about. I know I jolly well didn't invite anybody to watch tele' with me... Oh, I feel slightly perturbed.

Quit looking at me ya freak! I also like watching this programme. Didn't anybody tell you that it was rude to stare?! Mmmm I do like the look of that bowl of noodles you have on your table.

Should I kill this stupid spider... Oh, but it is quite big and maybe even venomous. It may escape or even worse shoot a web at me. I know Spider Man has a ring of truth attached to it. Hmmm, where is that newspaper...Ohh, could I even cope with murder on my conscious.

The foolish human is starting to bug me - looks as though he is plotting. I don't like the shifty look in his punk eyes... I better start planning my exit.

How did the little pest even get in, did he get a set of keys cut?? It's time to go matey, time for you to meet your maker. This newspaper will aid your journey.

Oh great, a rolled up paper heading my way - this prat thinks he's gonna get rid of me. Well we shall see about that bruv. Bring it then, I am ready!! I'll kick your butt - I have enough legs to inflict enough damage...

Oh oh!! I didn't mean it really! er er help!! I only wanted to watch a little tele!!!!

(scurry) SPLAT!!

...Now back to my programme.


Submitted by Demola, The Collective

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