The neighbours

Really, some people. I wonder what goes on within their brains. Especially those that love airing their dirty laundry in public. Why do they feel the need? Have they no shame? So, anyway, the man who lives above me has a girlfriend who is - to put it nicely, a very large, robust woman. He, on the other hand is a thin, stringy sort of man.

OK. That's fine. Opposites attract and all that jazz. Big girls need loving too, yaddah, yaddah, yaddah. Plus, he claims that he loves her. My neighbour below told me so. Real love. Fluffy bunnies, and sweet music, skipping down the road holding hands until she starts wheezing. They love each other they protest when quizzed by dubious people. L O V E! Folks. 

Well I have never (openly) questioned their relationship but I know for certain that it can't really be love. 

I say this with confidence due to their repetitive actions. I have overheard too many blazing rows for my liking, (I've literally lost count). The boyfriend always insults the woman he supposedly 'loves' with "fat cow" jibes. Yes, seriously. When he is filled with rage that is when he suddenly notices her obese state and begins to verbally pummel her. I've heard it all. It isn't pretty. (She isn't pretty). If I didn't know any better I would be inclined to believe that he was dating a freaky cross breed of cow/dog due to the amount of times he refers to those animals after the obligatory 'fat.'

Before you begin to feel sorry for his girlfriend, don't. She isn't worth it. She's hardly a saint herself. With her cavernous mouth comes a sharp, evil tongue that lashes him when she is also consumed with anger. Yes, that is also when she remembers that he weighs considerably  less than she does. And boy does she enjoy reminding him that his appetite is nothing in comparison to that of her own. And, also, that he is a pitiful slave to an alcoholic beverage or three. Which by the deep rouge colouring of her face is in fact quite rich to be honest.

So, they were having one of their customary rows the other night, while I lay in bed. I was listening - because they are so loud and the walls are thin. (Not because I am a busy-body nosey neighbour). Anyway, the 'loving' boyfriend was kindly reminding his less than demure girlfriend that she was, fat, fat, fat!! And that she resembled farm yard livestock. Really, I kid you not.  He then proceeded to threaten her saying that he would call the 'bizzies' (slang for police) and tell them what she was selling from her fridge. This is what got my full attention. (I sat up like an attentive meerkat). What could she be selling from her fridge that would be of interest to the police? Iced donuts? Things had become very fascinating.

He then continued with his offensive tirade saying that he would tell them that she was selling drugs! Drugs! From her fridge! I couldn't believe it, this was gripping information. It was a good job I was already in bed - because I would have needed to lie down to fully digest this priceless nugget. The thickset woman was more than just a moon face. She was a woman who not only stomps about in fits of anger (like a deranged elephant) shouting her head off - but also (according to her boyfriend) a bit of a crook. Outrageous!

According to my chatty neighbour who lives below me (see 'It's time to tell the tooth') claims that he once witnessed the girlfriend on top of her squashed boyfriend laying into him with a combination of spitting and meaty punches. The wild woman was administering an almighty beat down to the man she loves. Shudder.

It really makes me wonder how these people can even have the temerity to even use the word love when they behave like this. 

Who needs soap operas when you are privy to neighbours like I have. 

Demola, TCC