Recollections of an impromtu naming ceremony - Part 1

Kids young people can be cruel. A commanly used statement, but does it carry any weight? Perhaps, definitely, I'd say I believe so. Calling one another harsh names along with ridicule and so forth - kids and youngsters seem to not particularly care how the person on the recieving end of harsh vitriol or jokey name calling feels.

David can testify to this, I know, well we know a lot of 'characters'. We have grown up knowing alot of 'interesting' people who have served to be a source of great laughter.

When we were young teenagers we moved around in a various circles, circles that included funny chaps. Many had nicknames, you know, lots of people have nicknames. Some affectionate, some, not so much. Today's recollection is about a dude who's nickname probably in all honesty wasn't the nicest he could have ever been bestowed with.

Our friend was an interesting looking boy to say the least. He was just so tall. Tall and pretty big. In his mid teens he was at least a comfortable 6'6 or 6'7. Mr nameless (for now), was just too tall, big for nothing. He didn't even utilise his height for basketball nor was he affiliated to a travelling circus. So, you see, he was a waste of being a big freak of nature. Tall and cumbersome and lacking in any form of sporting dexterity hindered anything remotely sporty he tried.

Add to this, his unfortunate eye disposition, he had poor sight in one eye and the other was a little suspect - hence why he wore thick glasses which didn't do much to help his plight. Also, he had rotting teeth that looked pretty ominous and dangerous when he would smile. (He was partial to a fizzy drink or three). Remember, I said kids young people can be cruel. OK, so our affable pal would walk with an awkward gait, he wasn't particularly comfortable in his meaty body or with his height. As a result of these teenage woes he would walk with a brooding hunch. Bobbing along, you couldn't fail to notice him. He was a lumbering oaf to say the least.

Oh man, how horrible they were (It wasn't me). But one day we were all outside my home either playing football or just hanging about and the youthful banter was flowing as it often would do - suddenly somebody decided to say that our friend looked like the gross monster from the film 'The Goonies'.

Well, everybody burst out laughing! (our friend didn't seem to find it funny though). Why would he have, he had been likened to a peculiar cockeyed monster/beast that had learning difficulties from a classic 80's film. One of the terrible boys started mimicking the noises that Sloth would make (think 'Hey you guys! etc) in the movie and there it was our pal had a new name - from that day on he would be referred to as 'Goonie,' simple as that, forget the actual characters name, he been been mockingly renamed in a impromptu naming ceremony. I'm sure even now he has hatred and anger in his heart when he thinks back to this day.

You mention the word Goonie and instantly the chaps would think of the beast like creature and crack up with laughter. Some did go a bit too far and say that he was from outer space and that a randomly parked van (literally was there for weeks) on his street was there for intelligence purposes to monitor his movements on earth. Add this to the fact that he had freakish ability with computer devices probably didn't do much to quell this constructed fabrication. But, anyhow, that was just another suggestion attributed to the poor lad. His main insult was that he looked like, well, the monstrosity that accompanies this post.

As I mentioned previously, kids young people can be so cruel.

Demola, TCC