Small talk

The concept of  'small talk' is a funny old thing. Not funny 'har har', I'm being deadly serious. In my reflexive opinion it's a delicate little conundrum that we have all been faced with. You know, when you happen to perhaps bump into somebody who isn't your friend or less than an unloved acquaintance. Let's say: a neighbour, a work colleague or a peculiar friendly stranger, you could probably think of more. So, they feel obliged to speak to you, nothing wrong with that. They are just being nice. Pleasant and cordial. OK, but now you have been forced to engage in small talk with somebody you are not really bothered about. No point in beating around the bush. You probably couldn't care less about these individuals.

 

What do you talk about? The safe option is of course the weather. Ah yes, the weather. English folk love this subject. Well, one can always break the glass and use this trusty option. But a note of caution should be taken when talking about the weather too soon. If you are panicking inside of your undies and feel you need to use it straight away - then do so - just be aware you won't have too much else to fall back on. Basically, be wise with it.

 

Of course, you could actually ask how they are and pretend to mean it and look interested. However, acting skills may be required when carrying this out. If our enlightened subjects jabber on that they haven't seen you for a while, well that's good isn't it? Hmm... You never know, their lives may have been a tad poorer for not seeing you in, oh, I don't know - a considerable amount of time.

 

The thing with these people saying that they haven't seen you in a while is that they have unwittingly beaten you to this golden nugget or sheer nonsense. It really is a great line in the heady world of pertinent small talk. Damn that. OK, OK, you could always comment on their appearance if you so wish - a throw away compliment (literally), that you for sure do not mean one iota. "You look well, been away?" (In my neighbourhood, 'been away' does not particularly denote 'a holiday', ahem). Holiday?! C'mon now...gross sunbed abuse is one of two likely reasons and circumspect responses you will be slapped with.

 

Awkward silences may prevail as the small talk may begin to feel quite excruciating. What now? What now?!! Did you ever realise that there is something far better than talking about the weather? Yes, really. What is it? What is it?? You probably are screaming at the screen. Well, just make your excuses and leave the situation.

 

Simple.

 

 

Demola, TCC