The land of nod
There are advantages and disadvantages to boarding an early flight within Europe. An obvious advantage to an earlier departure is that you get to your destination with a whole day ahead of you, as apposed to a later flight which gets you to a place with little or no time to fully enjoy and explore the new city.
Speaking of early flights I mean ones which leave in the region of 6:30am - 8:00am. But in my experience early journeys have tended to be around the 6:30 time frame. Those ones in which I clamber into bed post 11pm to wake up from an unrestful, shallow sleep around 3am to be out of my home for 4am eyes blood red headed to the airport. As the airport looms you begin to wake up somewhat with anticipation of the trip and in the knowledge you can catch some shut eye on the plane. So with the disadvantage of a lack of beauty sleep, a positive person sees a a flight as perfect advantage to close ones eyes, rest, whilst listening to some dulcet music - to then wake up in a foreign land. Sounds lovely, doesn't it? Well, in an ideal world it would be, but the world that we live in is far from ideal. As with me, on this occasion, it certainly was not to be anything like that whatsoever. Frustration strangled patience, patience struggled and quietly cried for help and for what seemed like eternity no help was forth coming.
Let me explain: So the budget aeroplane was boarded and I was placed next to a burly man who was sitting next to a woman with a healthy dollop of make up covering her matured face. Being polite and all that jazz I said hello as I sat down, wiggling my derrière to get comfortable and began to contemplate a lovely bout of sleep. The burly man said hello to me, I again said hello to him. He seemed pleasant. I felt quite comfortable and relaxed, the plane would soon be up in the clouds and I would be in the land of nod with a perhaps a bit of drool slipping out of my mouth to show I was fully enjoying my snooze. The man began to speak to me, I listened and then responded, somewhat wearily. Although my mind was tired I had an uneasy sense that this man was the talkative sort. Oh no... please let my assumption be incorrect, please...
My assumption proved to be correct. This man with his distinct regional tones proceeded to force a conversation upon me. Well I wanted to ignore him and sleep, but priding myself on politeness I had to respond. One word responses became two, three, four, and before I knew it I was responding with full sentences. No, no, no! You need to sleep, my little teddy bear my mind kept whispering to me. Don't get drawn into answering his questions - and don't even ask him anything in reply. However, before I knew it the beefy bloke had bamboozled me into having a chat with him that ranged from the multitude of places he has visited to how he helped poor children in the many countries he had frequented and how he liked the city of Liverpool.
At times his lady friend with the face splattered with paint would chip in before continuing to inspect the newspaper (that I had given to her, in a ploy that she would stumble across the cross-word become so enthralled and ask her partner to aid her - thus leaving me the heck alone!). Did this happen? No. Why was I not surprised that this woman headed straight to the gossip column to look at the pictures before handing me back the newspaper. By now I was fighting a seemingly losing battle, I was engaging in a drab conversation as my brain was frantically sending constant messages to my eye lids to close the shutters, shut up shop. My head was beginning to already feel heavier than the man I was next to. My chest felt like a magnet for my chin as I attempted to fight the urge due to my stupid politeness, because I was speaking, well listening to this man talk, talk, talk - then ask me things. I looked to my left and felt a spark of rage and jealously as I saw my friend across the aisle, sleeping! He looked like he was having fun in the land of nod, how many jaunty sheep had he counted before he had even arrived? Not many - I could just tell. He had immediately adhered to his brains wishes and appeared content as a result. Although I couldn't detect any slobber protruding from his mouth I had seen enough to know that he was in a place that I also wished to be in. How I wished that he was awake like I was. How selfish was he?! I was envious, I was frustrated - I was having a conversation about giving stationery to street children in India!!
Something had to give, but what? I had tried to give subtle hints. Going quiet for a few moments in the hope that this man would realise I no longer wanted to talk. Closing my eye lids... but he probably thought I was just resting my eyes. (Yes, to sleep!!) Anyway, did these attempts work? No! It only encouraged him to gather his thoughts for his next topic of discussion. By now my eyeballs were drowning in a sea of lethargy. The more he chattered on the more I felt I had begun to look Oriental. I felt dead, dead on my seat. My head was caving into my chest and this man still didn't seem to notice, or to care - he just wanted to talk, talk and talk!
Suddenly I thought I am going to pray to God, people usually pray fervently when they think their plane is about to crash or whatever - well why not when you think a man is going to kill you with constant conversation. That's it, I will give it a shot. So I made an empassioned plea to the heavens; please, please shut this man up - I need to sleep. Now, what I am about to say is not a lie, there is not a single ounce of fabrication or embellishment. Literally, as soon as I had finished my desperate petition the large man said: "I am going to have a little sleep now." I tell you - I was gobsmacked! My prayer had been answered!! I could now go to sleep, I could now visit the land of nod. A wry smile appeared on my face as I closed my eyes and flew to that place, oh yes I jetted there with pleasure.
And when I woke up, everything was still. I thought we had landed, what a swift flight, I deduced - but we hadn't we still had another 30 minutes to go. Initially I was so disorientated as to where I was, and what was going on, but those feelings didn't last so long because he then spoke, like he had done before. Then I realised... and it began to happen all over again...
At times his lady friend with the face splattered with paint would chip in before continuing to inspect the newspaper (that I had given to her, in a ploy that she would stumble across the cross-word become so enthralled and ask her partner to aid her - thus leaving me the heck alone!). Did this happen? No. Why was I not surprised that this woman headed straight to the gossip column to look at the pictures before handing me back the newspaper. By now I was fighting a seemingly losing battle, I was engaging in a drab conversation as my brain was frantically sending constant messages to my eye lids to close the shutters, shut up shop. My head was beginning to already feel heavier than the man I was next to. My chest felt like a magnet for my chin as I attempted to fight the urge due to my stupid politeness, because I was speaking, well listening to this man talk, talk, talk - then ask me things. I looked to my left and felt a spark of rage and jealously as I saw my friend across the aisle, sleeping! He looked like he was having fun in the land of nod, how many jaunty sheep had he counted before he had even arrived? Not many - I could just tell. He had immediately adhered to his brains wishes and appeared content as a result. Although I couldn't detect any slobber protruding from his mouth I had seen enough to know that he was in a place that I also wished to be in. How I wished that he was awake like I was. How selfish was he?! I was envious, I was frustrated - I was having a conversation about giving stationery to street children in India!!
Something had to give, but what? I had tried to give subtle hints. Going quiet for a few moments in the hope that this man would realise I no longer wanted to talk. Closing my eye lids... but he probably thought I was just resting my eyes. (Yes, to sleep!!) Anyway, did these attempts work? No! It only encouraged him to gather his thoughts for his next topic of discussion. By now my eyeballs were drowning in a sea of lethargy. The more he chattered on the more I felt I had begun to look Oriental. I felt dead, dead on my seat. My head was caving into my chest and this man still didn't seem to notice, or to care - he just wanted to talk, talk and talk!
Suddenly I thought I am going to pray to God, people usually pray fervently when they think their plane is about to crash or whatever - well why not when you think a man is going to kill you with constant conversation. That's it, I will give it a shot. So I made an empassioned plea to the heavens; please, please shut this man up - I need to sleep. Now, what I am about to say is not a lie, there is not a single ounce of fabrication or embellishment. Literally, as soon as I had finished my desperate petition the large man said: "I am going to have a little sleep now." I tell you - I was gobsmacked! My prayer had been answered!! I could now go to sleep, I could now visit the land of nod. A wry smile appeared on my face as I closed my eyes and flew to that place, oh yes I jetted there with pleasure.
And when I woke up, everything was still. I thought we had landed, what a swift flight, I deduced - but we hadn't we still had another 30 minutes to go. Initially I was so disorientated as to where I was, and what was going on, but those feelings didn't last so long because he then spoke, like he had done before. Then I realised... and it began to happen all over again...
Demola, TCC
Comments
Post a Comment