The life of Augustus

Augustus Charles Babatunde is 73 years of age. However he looks at least eight years younger than that. Augustus is from Ogun State, Nigeria. He has lived in the United Kingdom for many decades. Augustus stands at 5'10 and takes a European sized 44 shoe. Augustus Charles Babatunde has 18 children. He claims to love them all dearly yet struggles at times to recall their names and date of births. He attributes his lack of recollection as mere 'details'. When quizzed by friends on why he has so many children Augustus becomes indignant and quotes passages from the bible in which God instructed Adam to go forth and multiply. Augustus says that if a man has ink in his pen then he must use it! Otherwise he is an abomination  before the eyes of God.  

Augustus is a loving man and has been married five times. Once he was married to two women at the same time. When investigated by the authorities on suspection of polygamy he protested that he was unaware that he had been  married to the two women. This stressful investigation confirmed to him that England was a silly country that wasted tax payers money on checking whether a man has more than one wife. 

Augustus Charles Babatunde has two degrees, one in Business and finance and the other in Economics. He is proud of his achievements and even has some of his school reports framed up on the walls within his homes in Ogun State and in the UK. 

Before first arriving in the UK Augustus Charles Babatunde had never dated a white woman. He soon made up for this and found them to be very friendly and impressionable. However he was not particularly impressed when one served him sausage and chips for dinner. Augustus firmly believes a woman should look after a man and all of his needs and because of this mantra he refuses to cook. Often saying, "Why have a dog and you bark." Some people have accused Augustus of being chauvinistic and a bit of a bigot. He fiercely refutes this - reasoning that it his culture! Before kissing his teeth with the utmost disdain. 

Augustus Charles Babatunde once believed that a black cat that suddenly appeared from nowhere and would sit on his wall for weeks was sent to spy on him courtesy of a witch doctor back in Nigeria. The way the cat behaved would disturb him greatly and eventually he decided to 'remove' it. Augustus now frets that 'bad luck' will come his way due to his rash behaviour.

Augustus Charles Babatunde owns a pastel blue 1975 Mercedes but rarely  drives it. He prefers his son, Femi to drive it for him because it makes him feel presidential. Augustus believes that he would make a good politician, unlike that 'charlatan' Goodluck Jonathan of whom

he dislikes. Augustus also claims that he wore fedora hats before Goodluck did. 

Augustus Charles Babatunde recently found out that his partner of ten years is pregnant with his nineteenth child. 

Demola, TCC