To wink or not to wink, that is the question

There are many things in this vast world that render many humans into sitting down and having a good old ponder. Questions, questions, questions. What's it all about? I guess I am no different in this regard.

Quite recently I was sipping on a herbal tea and something began to puzzle my inquisitive brain. Come to think of it I believe this has been the case for some time. The puzzling thing was the concept of winking. The subtle yet loud way of showing another person, well, that you have the hots for them or perhaps, in some cases, to cheekily reassure a friend that things are all tickity boo. Many men, having said this, use winking as a shameful tactic in the attempt to snare women.

Winking in the eyes of 100 women not picked at random for a quantitative survey I didn't conduct all testified that a man winking at a lady is probably one of the most seedy, despicable things a male can do with his right eye. Taking this fictious survey into account it made me wonder if so many women are opposed to this kind of behaviour why do men continually persist? I mused on this for a moment or two until another pertinent question came to mind as I took another sip of tea.

What are the actual origins of men winking at nauseous ladies? This was something that instantly gnawed away at me. As a result of this profound question I had to trawl the net for answers.

After a quick snack I began my research. For a second I wondered what to type into the search engine. Then it came to me.'The origins of male winking.' Yes, concise and straight to the point. This would be a good start I told myself. On typing this in I was instantly bombarded with a barrage of slippery images of smarmy, olive skinned lotharios with bountiful, jet black hair. To a man they all looked disturbingly oily and downright insincere.

Alongside the shocking images came a stark warning, the viewer had to be over the age of 18 to continue with this particular foray into uncharted territory. I was aware that winking was pretty unacceptable but I didn't know it was deemed worthy of strict online censorship. On reading various stories pertaining to the origins that date back to the Roman Empire - in which men caught rapidly closing an eye at attractive women being publicly executed by the army I decided that this bout of research did not satisfy me. I was wasting my time. The internet can very useful, but at times it contains a lot of nonsense and unbelievable things. I couldn't allow myself into believing the information that I had found to be credible.

Most men will admit that at certain points in their lives they have winked at another person. However, most will not admit that they have used winking as a weapon to seduce a woman, or that they've incorporated the infamous 'wink and the gun' combo'.

I have to say: I have never been skilled at winking. Nor do I resent my father for not sitting me down and showing me the ropes on this matter. All I know about the murky world of one eye shutting is from what I have seen around me.

From my own astute observations I have noted that some cultures are more adept at the little old wink. Turkish and Middle Eastern blokes, for example seem to possess a particular skill in this department. Is it ingrained into their psyche? Their DNA? In between early kebab shop management tutorials, chest and back hair cultivation and national service these males seem to take winking seriously. To the discerning eye it more than appears that it is an important feature of becoming a 'man' within these cultures. Why?

The seedy art of winking seems to be an accepted ritual for these men to learn about, practice, hone, then unleash whenever a female takes their fancy. The fable of the English words, 'sleazy' and 'cheesy' not fully translating into Turkish, Italian, Iranian and other such countries could also be a reason as to why winking is accepted as the norm. A reliable source once told me that 'back home' it was frowned upon for men to go against the grain of wearing large collared shirts without a minimum of three top bottoms undone. This saddening statement was also another facet that made me think perhaps winking at women is a deep rooted cultural characteristic.

So, can these men ever stop winking at women who do not appreciate it? Do these perpetrators even want to change their buttery ways? Well, in my opinion what I believe is that educating these creepy nations is the way forward, and to quote a former British PM, it's all about: "Education! Education! Education!"

Demola, TCC