Affirmative action

Vroom! Vroom! Vroom! The sound was so loud. It startled me as I sat on my sofa. Vroom! Vroom! Vroom! What on earth was this raucous noise. I listened for a moment, and it sounded like there was  a motor bike revving its engine. Was the noise that grabbed my ears coming from outside? No, it couldn't be,  it sounded too close. I got up from my comfortable seating position to further enquire of the blaring noise. Vroom! Vroom! Vroom!

 

It was definitely coming from my corridor. Odd... I walked down it and then looked at the window that was ajar and then at the window ledge. The strange noise revealed itself to be coming from a great big mutant bumblebee. I shouted: "Woah!" It was wearing a garish striped black an yellow jacket. And the legs on the beast were like an elephants. It was massive! Literally, like it had gorged on jars of honey and was now buzzing frantically in a terrible state of stomach ache. Vrooom!! The distracting noise really did sound like a motor bike, well it did, sort of. The strange thing was the intensity of the loudness. As though the bee was buzzing into a microphone.

 

Buzzing away on the window ledge it was. Hiding behind my vintage cereal memorabilia piece and too close to my American Apparel sunglasses (for my liking), which stood next to a fruit bowl that contained approximately seven kiwi fruits and three golden delicious apples. The apple count had been four - but I ate one earlier that day leaving me with three. 

 

Anyway, the giant bee was staggering about probably intoxicated by the delicious sweet honey it had been feasting on and by now I suppose it didn't really know where it was.

 

Well, this gross monster was unwanted in my home. I pride myself on my hospitality when I have visitors, however, I don't take too kindly to huge and hulking looking insects flying through a window which was opened for the purpose of fresh air to filter in. If I had wanted a bumblebee to come in I would have put up a sign saying do come in and make an awful racket. But I didn't. And I always thought Doctor Dolittle was not very realistic.

 

I went into my bathroom, then kitchen. I took toilet paper and a well known supermarket carrier bag and then moved towards the bumblebee that was still loitering on the window ledge.

 

I smothered the bumblebee.

 

Yes, I know. But it was annoying me with its horrible loud buzzing and how could I have picked it up and thrown it out to fly away. Besides, I didn't think it was in any fit state to fly. And I certainly wasn't about to allow the bee to sleep of his Sunday afternoon honey bender to then wake and decide that it wants to sting me. I wasn't prepared to take that chance.

 

So, I hope you can understand - I had to do the most logical thing that I could think of.

 

After I snuffed the bee I promptly distributed it in the dustbin. I hope this will serve to be a lesson for any other bumblebee that feels that it can fly into my home uninvited in the future. 

 

 

 

Demola, TCC