Who are Apple kidding?

"Who are Apple kidding?"

Lately I've been asking myself this question as I'm bombarded by Apples latest but shamefully pathetic advertising campaign to convince us that they are still something to be reckoned with.

OK, lets all calm down people.  I'm surrounded by friends and work mates that mindlessly insist on stunting on me, and showing me how amazing they are because they own an i-phone 5.  Now, let me break this down... the phone IS lighter. Weight, albeit, not too heavy signifies quality and worth, not to mention the alarm bells that begin to sound when your happily skipping down Stratford Broadway and realise you cant feel something weighing you down... eitherway, I'll give them the 'lightness', its easier on your bicep when lifting it out of your pocket.

The screen IS longer.  After all, my thumb does go from here to here.  Unfortunately, for Apple, my thumb was the same size when they first decided to even make phones so sorry, I refuse to give Apple credit for what God gave me.  A thumb.

It IS quicker.  Yes, considering most Apple devices including the new i-phone are usually used via WI-FI, surely the speed is dependant on the internet provider and not a fancy chip imbedded inside the device in your hand?  Okay, fair enough on the go the user needs to access the internet via 3G or now even 4G as the case may be... whatever... I'm sure logging onto the internet 0.5 milli seconds slower will not mean the difference between my life and death, if anything it gives me time to stir my black coffee in Starbucks.

Wait, whats this? The Apple i-pad mini?  With all kinds of companies releasing tablets, Apple have been basically priced out the market whilst offering users the choice of tailoring their devices to their use. (Lets not forget Apple only runs Apple software).  So, with drops from Nexus and Kindle for smaller takes on the larger overpriced i-pad... Apple have decided to panic and release their own diet sized tablet.  One problem. The most basic model is still practically the same price as the normal size i-pad, whilst its rivals are employing a common sense tactic, half the size? half the price. (Why on Gods green earth would I want to buy a tablet when I could buy one made by the same company with a bigger screen thats been in existence for years for the same price?).

So dear Apple... as a life long fan from my design background I do recognise your prowess in obtaining your hardware IF you are a creative that needs to create.  However, your brainwashing of the masses is about to come to an end over the next few years if the best you can do is educate me in your multi million advertising campaign that my 'thumb goes from here to here'.  I already knew that... plus, I already had your last i-phone (4S), in which the 5 has no significant aesthetic changes, such as the 3G to the 4. (My thumb will be the same size when you bring out your next amazing phone).

Sorry Apple. You're dying a slow death, if you don't come up with something significantly different between devices.  You guys really have the cheek to release the new i-mac which comes WITHOUT a disk drive? Sorry Apple, you're not that innovative that you are going to single handedly destroy the CD and DVD industry.  (Yes, people still buy and burn cds for friends or to play in their cars and people still burn DVDs, whether it be illegal films or home made constructed projects which I recall you did use in one of your previous campaigns).

I own an I-mac, it works and does everything that I want it to do since the day I bought it.  (Which was years ago). I own an i-phone 4s which has the same operating system as the 5... I'm strong enough to stand next to a guy with a 5 and make them feel insecure about why they felt the need to fork out hundreds of pounds for a device that mine still does.

Apple, I ain't biting no more.


P.S If you do bring out this rumored television of yours... You could once again flip the game on its head, but until then... my thumb is MINE.



Joshua, TCC