The Living Room
Collective Inspired...
He was disturbed by a strange noise. Listening for a moment, it soon became apparent that this noise was coming from the living room. Clip clop, clip clop, clip clop - that was the noise. Heightened by the fact that the house was clad with wooden flooring throughout. The noise reverberated. He slowly opened the door to be confronted by the most peculiar of sights.
There was a horse! an actual live horse trotting around his living room. His eyes wide in utter disbelief. "What the?!?..." The horse was oblivious to the randomness of this strange occurrence. clip clop, clip clop, trotting around the spacious room without a care in the world.
Bish bash bosh, bish bash bosh, bish bash bosh...Attention was quickly diverted. In the corner of the living room was a very over weight woman. Mrs Cherrybottom! The lady that lived just down the road. She was exerting herself through physical activities. Dressed in a tight green Lycra all in one number. Sweat bands on each of her chubby wrists - also sporting a Jamaican coloured head band. This outfit was completed by a rather unsightly wedgie.
Star jump, cartwheel, forward roll - star jump, cartwheel, forward roll. She was carrying out this routine repeatedly and surprisingly - with great efficiency.
NAAYY!! NAAAY!! Grunt! grunt! The horse was now sat on the sofa, legs crossed, like a suave gentleman. Television guide next to it. Remote control balancing in the palm of one hoof - the other hoof was delicately trying to tap in channel 27 on free view. The horse was becoming increasing agitated due to the fact that he was missing the repeat of TOWIE (The only way is Essex) his hoof was not suited to channel changing. He was getting nowhere. He grunted and shook his lips in dismay. His teeth and gums were on show. He looked as though he had a filling or two.
This was becoming beyond weird, beyond strange.
"Stop this madness!! get out! get out!" Shouted the owner of the house, "I've had enough - Geddout!!!"
The horse turned his head to look at the man. Dropping the remote in the process, he frowned.
Mrs Cherrybottom, the fat woman from down the road stopped mid star jump (stomach still jiggling)
Time stood still.
NAAAY!! NAAAY!! The horse began to gallop towards the man. Galloping with intent and ferocity. Frown on face shaking his teeth and gums.
HIYA! HIYA! star jump, forward roll karate kick - kung fu chop, stomach jiggle (repeated twice) She looked angry, she looked mean. She was approaching at a rate of knots.
Silence.. The room went as still as night. Quiet and tranquil, beads of sweat treacled down the mans face. He lay there, quiet and contemplative. Eyes open, staring at the ceiling.
It was just a dream, it was just a dream - he thought to himself. He smiled a wry smile and shook his head.
Just a dream.
Submitted by Demola, The Collective
He was disturbed by a strange noise. Listening for a moment, it soon became apparent that this noise was coming from the living room. Clip clop, clip clop, clip clop - that was the noise. Heightened by the fact that the house was clad with wooden flooring throughout. The noise reverberated. He slowly opened the door to be confronted by the most peculiar of sights.
There was a horse! an actual live horse trotting around his living room. His eyes wide in utter disbelief. "What the?!?..." The horse was oblivious to the randomness of this strange occurrence. clip clop, clip clop, trotting around the spacious room without a care in the world.
Bish bash bosh, bish bash bosh, bish bash bosh...Attention was quickly diverted. In the corner of the living room was a very over weight woman. Mrs Cherrybottom! The lady that lived just down the road. She was exerting herself through physical activities. Dressed in a tight green Lycra all in one number. Sweat bands on each of her chubby wrists - also sporting a Jamaican coloured head band. This outfit was completed by a rather unsightly wedgie.
Star jump, cartwheel, forward roll - star jump, cartwheel, forward roll. She was carrying out this routine repeatedly and surprisingly - with great efficiency.
NAAYY!! NAAAY!! Grunt! grunt! The horse was now sat on the sofa, legs crossed, like a suave gentleman. Television guide next to it. Remote control balancing in the palm of one hoof - the other hoof was delicately trying to tap in channel 27 on free view. The horse was becoming increasing agitated due to the fact that he was missing the repeat of TOWIE (The only way is Essex) his hoof was not suited to channel changing. He was getting nowhere. He grunted and shook his lips in dismay. His teeth and gums were on show. He looked as though he had a filling or two.
This was becoming beyond weird, beyond strange.
"Stop this madness!! get out! get out!" Shouted the owner of the house, "I've had enough - Geddout!!!"
The horse turned his head to look at the man. Dropping the remote in the process, he frowned.
Mrs Cherrybottom, the fat woman from down the road stopped mid star jump (stomach still jiggling)
Time stood still.
NAAAY!! NAAAY!! The horse began to gallop towards the man. Galloping with intent and ferocity. Frown on face shaking his teeth and gums.
HIYA! HIYA! star jump, forward roll karate kick - kung fu chop, stomach jiggle (repeated twice) She looked angry, she looked mean. She was approaching at a rate of knots.
Silence.. The room went as still as night. Quiet and tranquil, beads of sweat treacled down the mans face. He lay there, quiet and contemplative. Eyes open, staring at the ceiling.
It was just a dream, it was just a dream - he thought to himself. He smiled a wry smile and shook his head.
Just a dream.
Submitted by Demola, The Collective
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