The Fancy Dress Party

So the invitation was given to me, a fancy dress party! How interesting. I hadn't been to one of these soirees since I was a child. Pinky and the Brain, if my memory serves me correctly. My old friend James and I went as that laughable duo. I'm sure it was my marvellous idea.

So what would I go as? I really didn't need this sort of stress on my mind whatsoever. Over the years I have observed many 'clowns' within my city, usually students or idiots around Halloween time dressed in an assortment of what could loosely be described as 'outfits' from the ridiculous to the down right lewd. I've seen it all. I've judged them severely.  I was certainly not about to go down that road of nonsense. My outfit would be tasteful, modest and of course wonderful. I would be going as Spider-Man. Yes, how I do love the old web slinger. So for weeks I trawled the net for a suitable Spider-Man outfit. Imagining myself as a superhero was an exciting prospect. I would have to perfect my forward rolls and start touching my toes again. Go big or go home, being Spidey is no joke. Then it began to dawn upon me... Spider-Man costumes at best are a tad on the snug side. Hardly leaving much for the imagination. Especially since one has a, well, erm, somewhat African derriere.

So after much agonising the Spider-Man idea had to be discarded. Dreams dashed.  As far I've been aware of - Spidey never had a booty. So what next?  Black Panther? Maybe... but after some deep contemplation on this I again concluded that was a none starter. More spandex. As time began to trundle along everybody was asking what I would be going to the party as. Some friends were keeping their ideas under wraps, some were more than happy to let loose. I, I still was so unsure. All I knew, though, was that I had to represent (for whom, I have no idea.) When I was beginning to feel pressured about what I would wear I diverted the attention to my lovely mother, telling some young friends that she would be going as King Kong. Believing that would cause enough hullabaloo and smokescreen to give myself sufficient breathing space to decide on what to wear. Homer Simpson, no. Tintin, he never had this much of a tan. Time was ticking and I still couldn't decide. Then I was struck by an epiphany of grandiose proportions. Zorro! The suave masked bandit with the sword! Yes! Or rather, si! I would go as Zorro. Imagining myself arriving at the party on a handsome black horse and jabbering away in Spanish would be an entrance that would go down in folklore.

So, I got to work, scouring the net for a good, authentic costume. The more I searched the more  Spider-Man became be a fanciful dream of the past, who wants to wear spandex in the winter, anyway? I was going to order a swashbuckling suit and hire a black steed and gallop to the party. After a few days the outfit arrived, (plus dvd, for research purposes of course) completed with a tantalising sword that looked oh so dangerous. Not the sort that novices should be handling. However, since I had obtained an official licence for such a killing instrument I felt confident. The horse, which was ordered via ebay from China, failed to arrive. Plan B - one shall go by car, then.


 

My friend rocked up at my home dressed as Nick Fury. Wow. He looked great. After a few laughs and photos we set off for the party. A few curious looks were sent our way at traffic lights. Zorro driving a car instead of riding a horse... baffling. I was slightly apprehensive, though, in case the police stopped us and found that I was transporting a sword in my boot. I really would have some explaining to do. Thankfully no police stop and checks.

Eventually we arrived at the party and made our way in with enough swagger to suggest that we were comfortable in our costumes. I wondered if I would be recognised. Who's the masked bandit with the sword? Who was this man who was greeting folk in Spanish? Could this in fact actually be the Zorro?! Hardly. I was instantly recognised.


 

It really was an hilarious party. Seeing people you know dressed in a various costumes looking comical. However, I did have to ask some who they were dressed as. Being told, "myself!" was slightly awkward. But having said that, the majority of guests really embraced the theme which made for a fun night.

Demola, TCC