The life of Roy

Roy is a mature English man of 78 years. He has a splendid mane of jet black hair, long ears, a bumpy nose and a warm face which is a shade of satsuma. Roy stands at a respectable 5'9 inches. He also has a slight hunch. Roy is married, his wife is called Bridget. Bridget is a full bodied lady who doesn't smile very much. They have been married for 46 years. Since retiring many years ago Roy has found a new lease of life.

Roy likes to divide his time between going to his local health club, reading books, playing golf, and listening to his favourite shows on Radio 4. Roy likes to travel to Spain twice a year. His favourite destination being Lanzarote. He has been visiting Spain for 40 years. Roy even knows a few words of "the ol' Spanish lingo." Roy takes a lot of pride in his appearance and regularly plucks the hairs from his bumpy nose and lengthy ears. Alongside this he uses the sunbed once a week, as it gives him a healthy glow. Roy loves to socialise with his friends. Tommy, Mike, Eddie and Philip. These men love to discuss football and the influx of immigrants, Roy has no interest in football, he calls it a game for ill educated thugs. Roy loves to break out into song as he gets changed in the morning. Roy's voice is akin to a 20's crooner. Roy is often complemented for looking impeccable. This makes him smile broadly. Roy never dresses slovenly.

Roy is known for sharing loquacious tales of his days as a young virile man. Roy is friendly and charming. Roy never uses his wife's name, he prefers to refer to her as "her indoors," or "the old bird." Roy seems to always be in his own world, moving at his own leisurely pace. Roy has no qualms in taking late night strolls through notoriously dangerous neighbourhoods, because this is "MY country - so why should I be afraid!" He repeatedly recites this wearisome line to his wife when she worries about him.

Roy was violently mugged by a group of youths one late evening. Roy is now dead.


Demola, TCC